Of Sadness, Hope and Joy
by Stee Parker
Summary: One young girl get's thrown into Valdemar and a life of sadness and misery. It will take one boy to bring the shining light of hope onto her face, and back into her heart.
1. Smiles and Scowls

Disclaimer: OK, I think everyone knows what I'm going to say and I don't know why I bother but just incase someone happens to sue me I need protection. (Not very plausible but definitely possible…. Although I can't see why anybody would want to…. *shrug*.) Everything that you know is in the Valdemar/Velgarth books is hers. (A.K.A characters, plots, towns ECT.) Anything else is all mine. 

_Blah_ mean's Abby's/ my thoughts or her good/bad devil. (hehe)__

_:Blah:_ means mindspeech.

"Blah" regular speech

*actions*

Mari is pronounced Mar-ee, not Ma-ree

Abby's good and bad devils: They're , Luce  (bad devil) and Sato (good devil.) They are mostly her conscience and there sort of like companions, I'm not sure if I'll keep them through the whole story. They have something to do with the ADHD

 By the way, this is a tester of how a girl goes to Valdemar works out. The styles a little different from my other pieces but… well…. here it goes. Oh, I'm going to introduce the characters back on earth so bear with me for the first chapter or two.

Chapter one: smiles and scowls 

_This is depressing_. I thought grumpily as for the third time in a row I was unable to actually break the board in my Tae Kwon doe class.  _Even the beginners can break these easy boards and I've been taking these stupid fighting lessons for, what now, a year. I'm so pathetic. _My instructor watched me from the corner of his eye with an expression that masked pity in them. He knew, and I knew that there was no point in trying to teach me to fight, I was hopeless and the only one who didn't seem to know that was my mom. 

 She thought I was good at everything. I rolled my eyes at that thought, parent's always thought that their children were better then they actually were except for Mari's parents, but she didn't need me snooping into her problems. I reluctantly turned my attention back on the board that had an 'Abby proof' sign on it in invisible ink. I glared at the sign in complete disgust, kicked it hard- and ended up hopping around on one foot for the rest of the class. It was the curse of the 'Abby can't break a board.'

I walked out of the class 10 minutes later, with the curse still intact and probably growing by the moment, and skipped over to where my mom met me with the false cheerfulness that always hovered around her personality. She congratulated me on my effort and then led the way out of the room, stopping every five seconds to talk to other mom's so it was more like an ants pace crawling along. 

I sighed and leaned on the wall when my mom stopped to talk yet again. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a little girl twirling around, doing some sort of gymnastics. That was what I was good at, agility, flexibility and fast thinking. Not that it helped me in these classes of repeated kicks, punches and jumps all laid out in a nice neat, never-ending pattern. _Kick, punch, pivot, repeat… and then repeat again, nothing exciting, nothing new, always the same old thing. It gets boring and then more boring each class. Maybe that's why I'm doing so lousy, because there's no spirit in the moves, just technique, and as my friends always tell me, I need spirit as much as I need water to drink._                

Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but I was the life and death of a party. Something that I loved and my mom (obviously) didn't. Maybe that was why she kept dragging me to these pointless classes. It wasn't because she thought I was good, it was to keep me away from trouble. Needless to say that is uncalled for, I mean I'm 13 for goodness sakes; she should give me some slack.

My mom finally drew herself away from her fellow mom and I marched out to the car trying to keep myself from being more irritated then I should be. She should be free to socialize, one part of me (probably the good devil sitting on my right shoulder) thought persuasively, but the other half (bad devil to the core) kept on repeating why does she keep jabbering on and on, we need to go, I need to get to my computer. (Yeah, that's me, no angel, just devil, just sometimes less devilish then most times.) I weighed the two thoughts out. Good devil, bad devil, good, bad. _It's no use, I agree with them both, oh, how sad._

I walked to the car and got in as a reminder that maybe my mom should keep going because poor exhausted Abby was sweltering in the heat of the way to hot sun. I glared at the sun for good measure; I wanted it to be cold. But then again when it's cold, I want it to be hot. I shook my head; I'm a lost cause, always wanting what I can't have.

I caught some people giving me odd stares and I just winked back at them. Life was good and they weren't going to get in the way of things. No sir-ee, not today, well not any day but that's beside the point. I giggled to myself and found myself jumping up and down in the seat of the car in excitement for something that wasn't going to happen. 

That's another thing about me, I have severe case of ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) which means jumpy, jumpy in the car and going wee, wee, if I don't have a pill in the morning, which my mom conveniently forgot to give me on this fine Saturday. So, here I am doing it and making an absolute fool of myself for my own amusement. But, that's ok because nobody can see it through the tinted windows. Or can they? I looked out the window just in case and found nobody looking at me so I went back to my earlier motion of shaking the car.

 Poor, insignificant Abby. I thought to myself miserably in the heat. Your mom's talking in the nice, air-conditioned building, and you are out here suffering-and its all your fault. 

Wait! I see my mom, I started jumping harder in the seat and waved cheerfully at her. Life was great.

**********          ************           ************

_Mari looks sad again today._ I thought looking over my shoulder at my best friend's glum face. _Those freakin' parents of her just won't leave her alone. She always has to be the best at everything, school, sports, music, but it won't work, it can't. There aren't enough hours in the day for her to try to be the genius at everything and nobody's perfect all though she's getting close._ Mari's parent's never thought she did well enough if she got anything less then A's in school. B's just wouldn't do for her parents although that my normal grade. 

_Oh, stop feeling sorry for yourself, just because you have low self-esteem and you picked a friend that was practically perfect doesn't give you any right. _My good devil side said irritably.

_Leave me alone._ I said offhandedly not much paying attention to the voice echoing inside my head.

"Whaa?" I realized I spoke aloud when Mari gave me a confused response and I hastened to apologize, she doesn't deserve my bad temper as well as her parents.

"Never mind Mar, I'm just being my usual self, rambling on and on with no good reason. Like the energizer bunny!" I grinned. 

"Ok Abby, ramble on." Mari grinned. It felt good to make Mari's face lift and a smile take the place of the frowns. That's part of the reason I clown around a lot because I love to make people laugh and for my own, selfish, enjoyment. (Bad devil, again, he seems to be popping up a lot more then he used to these days.) It doesn't really help my erm, let's say relationship with the teachers, especially the ones who had opinionated grading. Cough, cough, not pointing fingers, cough, cough, English. I looked around, and hoped that my English teacher wasn't around to hear me. I would probably get C's if he was but he wasn't there so I continued to have my 'coughing fit.'

Mari looked at me with an odd expression on her face and I giggle a bit and then leaned against a locker-that wasn't there I could feel myself falling backwards until … 'whoff! into the paper disposal bin I went. much to the extreme amusement of Mari, who was shaking with laughter against a real locker, and the others who saw my mishap. 

_Haha, very funny._ I thought getting up and brushing dust and paper off me making my viewers laugh even harder. _All right, all right, _I thought crossly _you've had your fun now will you please go away. _Of course, they didn't go away so I did the thing that would make them go the fastest, and be what they expected of me, the class clown. I did a mock bow and tipped an imaginable hat towards my audience trying to keep the scowl of my face and be the people pleaser I usually was, I'm not sure if it worked. 

I don't know what's gotten into me lately, usually I'm cheerful and nice, but some of my thoughts these days have been down right nasty and I'm not reacting the way I usually would. This incident was really getting on my nerves.  _You asked for it when you became a comedian _bad devil told me contemptuously. _Now deal!_

            _Oh, shut up!_ I mutter crossly. The first bell rang and I walked dejectedly to my first class: English.  

            *********           **************               ************         ************

First chapter done! It's a little weird, and I'm sorry if I offended anybody with my erm- less then likable description about tae kwon doe, I actually do like it, but Abby doesn't. Anyway, I hope you liked it! R + R please!

         Cheers without tears!

                           Stee 


	2. Alone

Disclaimer: Same old same old, what you don't recognize belongs to me, otherwise, its all Misty's work.

A.N Since I got some reviews and they all seemed to like this odd style of mine, I decided to continue with it. Hope y'all like it. 

Chapter Two: Alone

_I'm almost too big for this._ I thought to myself, lightly grabbing at the branches as I walked on the sturdy limb. _To old and two big, _Bad devil remarked. I shut him into the back of my brain; devils were next to useless anyway. I "calmly" walked the last two steps by doing split jumps and cursed the heavy brace that held my leg steady.  I slid into Mari's open window. That was one odd thing about her; she always had her window, and her screen open, good for me, and right now, bad for her. 

I glanced around the empty room, my eyes brushing over the meticulous floor, and neat bed, then peeked under it and grinned.  Clothes were shoved under it, and old books were collecting dust on the floor. No matter how much her parents pushed her to be perfect, there was always that old Mari quality there somewhere. I skimmed over the room one more time and shrugged. I could have sworn I'd heard crying. That was the only reason I would have come here anyway and Mari doesn't usually cry. In fact, she known for her smiling face, and enthusiastic manner. It was only recently that the pressure was breaking her down. But that was what I was here for, to be a perfect and lovable clown. 

I sank down on the bed and shuffled under it until I pulled the hard lump that was digging into my behind out from under the covers. A book, very typical. I gazed at the cover and threw it aside. I had no time for books, books were for smart people. Not that I wasn't smart of anything, but I needed action, especially after the surgery that had rendered my knee unactive in sports for 6 months. Of course, it was a year after the fact, but I still had to where the brace for sports, other then *cough* kicking sports, since I wasn't good at it anyway. I glanced down at my knee; the brace was on now since I'd just come home from soccer practice. I was used to it now anyway.  

I stayed perfectly silent for a minute, and that's a record for me! I bounced a little on the bed, but since the bed didn't creak it still counted. I could hear voices, and I got out of the room and tried to creep down the stairs. Key word, try. The stairs creaked and as much as I felt the urge to kick them I held it back. Stairs had feelings too you know. 

Downstairs Mari and her parents were in the back room. I stared at them for a minute, not sure of what to do, and feeling very guilty for creeping around her house at night. What was I doing anyway? I started, as I realized my surroundings. I'd never done this before; if Mari's parents caught me, I would never be trusted again. I started to back away when I heard my name.

"-she's not a good influence on you Mari. She's hardly serious, and she doesn't know real hard work." I stopped and seethed silently. Me not a good influence? Are you kidding? But then I reluctantly acknowledged that she was right, I was a clown, and I didn't work too hard. Still though, my anger came bursting back. What right did she have to say that? I came back to the present when I heard Mari's response.

"She's my best friend Mom. We get along, she makes me laugh. It's fun." Yay! I mentally patted myself on the back. I did make her laugh and I was fun to be around! I started to feel cheerier already, but the next sentence blew my soaring spirits right back down to earth.

"Your study's are more important than your friends." What?!? I was important… I am very important. What type of mother was she thinking I'm not important? She was always so polite and thoughtful around us, what was happening now? This was odd, very odd. I glanced into the room again.

"I don't have to study if I don't want to." The telltale Mari grin was fading rapidly. " I don't know what you push me so hard for anyway." I could feel a sneeze coming and I slapped my hand over my face. GO AWAY SNEEZE! Of course, sneezes don't obey my wishes. Aa-cho! All heads snapped in my direction and I shank back into the shadows. _Bad call Abby. Very bad call. _I was in for it now. I was going to be grounded forever. 

Mari's father came towards me quickly. His face was confused and filled with anger, but I didn't feel that it was directed at me. 

"Mari, why didn't you tell me you were having a sleepover." My eyes shined with renewed hope at that statement. Of course! A sleepover. I darted my eyes towards Mari, willing her to understand what I wanted her to say. But she didn't. She was too shocked to say anything. She just shook her head mutely. Her father reached a hand towards me, and the mother squeaked out a warning.

"Phil, your hands!" But it was too late. His hands gripped my skin, but not hard enough to justify the dull pain that filled my arm and traveled to the rest of my body. I glanced down and saw my hand was going transparent and gave out an agonized scream. I could see flashing lights wink before my eyes and the room was spinning.  I was turning into a ghost! What in the seven worlds was happening? 

I turned distressed eyes towards Mari's father and I could see his eyes were closed tightly shut. Mari backed away from me with frightened eyes and I really didn't blame her. I was frightened of myself.

"Molly, get Mari out of the room now!" Mari's dad's voice was tight, and I could here him muttering to himself under his breath. The spinning intensified and Mari's dad dropped my hand with a look of regretted. He spoke a few words to me that I couldn't hear and I was gone, alone in a void of complete darkness. 

*                 *                 *                    *                 *                 *                      *                    *

"Ashanti, indene regatta mesa." I awoke to what seemed like a normal day at a crowded market. One problem or maybe two: First, I couldn't understand anything of what the people were saying and second, it looked like I walked into a performance of people dressed in old, very old, costumes. I stood up slowly and stumbled across the dirt path to a person sitting a few feet away. My head felt bruised and my right arm hurt like the dickens. I gasped sharply and looked down at my arm. I poked it with my other hand, and too my outmost relief it was solid, visible and real. The old woman sitting against the wall was old and gray, covered with wrinkles. She scowled at me but I ignore the look. 

"What's happening?" I asked, having to shout over the excess of noise.  The old woman furrowed her eyebrows and waved her hand to tell me to go away. She didn't want me anywhere near here. Having the first stroke of panic in me I rushed along the market place asking a random man a question. 

"Wegata alingo igra?" The odd words came out of his mouth and I shook my head, if this was a play, I sure didn't know any of the lines and I wanted them, desperately.

"Give me the script!" I yelled, vainly trying to get the attention of people around me. "I want to know what's going on, somebody, help me, please!" On and on I ran around the market, glad now for the piece of plastic supporting my knee. All the people I asked look looked as if they saw people like me every day, and some looked at me with eyes that were filled with scorn. 

I backed away in the panic now deeply ingrained in me. Never in my life had I been treated with scorn or bullied. I was just a regular girl, spastic at some times, but regular. I wasn't popular, I wasn't a geek, but I was known by almost everyone. Now I was dumped into a place where I knew none, and they all hated me. I wheeled around and ran in the opposite direction. But suddenly right before me a horse with a cart appeared and I stood stock frozen in place. The cart driver rammed on the reins making the horse throw its head back and made angry movements at me. I stood there numbly watching as the cart owner continued to yell at me. 

Suddenly an arm pulled me out of the way and a girl stood looking at me curiously. She had shortish brown hair, with dirty rags for clothes, and mellow brown eyes. She pointed to herself.

"Kalia." My dulled mind picked up the fact that she was talking to me. All of my mother's precautions danced through my mind, one was never talk to a stranger. Well, scratch that. I thought sarcastically. I already blew that rule out the window and into a pond. It's probably floating around in some fat fishes stomach. Poor fish.

Another one was never tell somebody your name or where you live. I glanced around; I really don't think that that rule is needed either. I could tell everybody in this whole city where I live and still people wouldn't find me. I pointed to myself.

"Abby." She nodded and then skipped away, without looking back. It was as if after she looked at me close enough I wasn't worth his time. I felt my face burn for the umpteenth time, turned away, and finally looked around my surroundings. I had figured two things out as of now. One, this wasn't a play, and two; I was totally and completely lost. 

*                      *                    *                *                  *                  *                   *                     *

A.N: Ok, I'm guessing all you brilliant readers have picked up on the fact that Abby's now in Valdemar, and that Valdemarians speak something that isn't English. I know that Mercedes Lackey speaks English…. But if you think about it, Valdemar is a completely different country, and culture, and in my own weird mind, they speak a separate language. So there, you have it. Um, that's it. 

Reviewer Thankies:

Star: Here's Valdemar for you! I haven't really got into any of the Valdemaric stuff though. Thanks for the reviews! I love reviews!

Andi G: She's just like you? Hmmm, what a coincidence. ;) Oh well… you wanted this chapter to get closer to the good parts aye? Now you know why some of the stuff you suggested wouldn't work. But thanx for the suggestions anyways! A tout a l'heure!

Snowfire the Kitsune: Nice name! What does Kitsune mean? Well, if your weird then me and my friends are weird. Either that or we're normal and the rest of the world isn't J lol.  I actually did know that doctors prescribe ritilin, I don't know why though. Do you? Thanks for the review! Cheerio! 


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